🟠 BTC Theft

First time reading? I’m Jordan, and this is The Bitcoin Minimalist. Every Tuesday & Thursday, we scour 100s of sources to bring you need-to-know Bitcoin insights.

Good morning — Jordan here.

Happy Tuesday to the 19,577 Minimalist members reading today. 👋 

Today we’re covering:

• Strategic Bitcoin Reserve report overdue

• Roswell starts first city BTC fund

• Teen hackers stole $243M in Bitcoin

• And everything else you need to know.

Estimated read time: 2 minutes and 58 seconds

WHAT WE’RE WATCHING

🕰️ 60 days after Trump's March 6 executive order, no public update has been issued on the Strategic Bitcoin Reserve. Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent was due to deliver a key report by May 5, detailing legal and investment plans for managing seized Bitcoin and other digital assets.

🕵️‍♂️ A $243M Bitcoin heist orchestrated by teenage hackers led to a real-world kidnapping in Connecticut. Investigators traced the stolen funds through blockchain sleuthing, revealing an underground group linked to gaming and SIM swaps. The plot unraveled with arrests, including Veer Chetal and co-conspirators using luxury lifestyles to mask cybercrime.

💼 Strategy (MSTR)’s Q1 call revealed 8 lessons in Bitcoin treasury strategy. Key takeaways include $10B raised in 4 months, a bold $42B equity/debt plan, BTC-based KPIs, and innovative tools like non-dilutive preferreds—all aimed at compounding Bitcoin per share and redefining capital markets through BTC.

🏛️ Roswell, NM becomes the world’s first city to create a municipal Bitcoin reserve. Over $5,000 in BTC has been donated to a 10-year fund aimed at disaster relief and helping seniors pay water bills. The initiative gained global attention and was launched without requiring city council approval.

📉 Florida halts bitcoin investment push by indefinitely shelving HB 487 and SB 550. The bills would have allowed certain public funds to invest in bitcoin but were withdrawn as the 2025 legislative session ended without passage. Similar efforts continue in states like Arizona and New Hampshire.

⚙️ Bitcoin Core will remove the 80-byte OP_RETURN limit in its next update. This change allows more arbitrary data in transactions and aims to reduce harmful workarounds, but has sparked criticism over lack of consensus and concerns about Bitcoin’s financial focus and governance transparency.

⚖️ DOJ charged Samourai Wallet founders despite FinCEN saying no license was needed. A May 5 court filing revealed prosecutors knew in 2023 that the wallet’s non-custodial design exempted it from money transmitter laws—but still indicted and withheld that evidence for over a year.

IN THE LOOP

• US Bitcoin ETFs bought nearly six times more BTC than miners produced last week.

• Strategy bought 1,895 more bitcoin for $180 million, bringing its total holdings to 555,450 BTC.

• The UK plans to ban buying bitcoin with credit cards.

• Senator Lummis says Trump backs her BITCOIN Act to buy 1 million BTC and erase the $36 trillion U.S. debt.

• Riot sold 475 BTC in April to fund operations.

The most clicked link in our last newsletter was about an elderly American losing $330M in Bitcoin to a sophisticated social engineering heist involving over 300 wallets and 20 exchanges.

MACRO & INDUSTRY

• Trump is set to raise millions this month through a $1.5M-per-plate crypto dinner and a meme coin contest tied to his $TRUMP token.

• Trump denied profiting from crypto but admitted owning the $TRUMP token, now linked to $350 million in earnings and 37% of his wealth.

• Nine Senate Democrats are threatening to block the GENIUS Act, putting the 2025 crypto agenda at risk.

POLL

THURSDAY’S POLL RESULTS

What type of asset is Bitcoin to you?

🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ 💰 Money (24%)

🟩🟩🟩⬜️⬜️ 📈 Investment (48%)

🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ 🛢️ Commodity (13%)

🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ 🤝 Other or combination (15%)

💰 Money: “It’s just money.” — Ian

📈 Investment: “Stacking for tomorrow. Hope to be able to borrow from my bitcoin without selling to create a few stress free retirement years.” — Ben

🤝 Other or combination: “Money and investment.” — Eli

🤝 Other or combination: “I think it is a commodity and an investment. It is also a hedge against inflation and sovereign security. I hope though we can make it into money (short to midterm) where it is used much more widely than it is today.” — Luke

VIDEO

Coinbase’s ad highlights that the Fed prints $465M daily—equal to 26,000 shipping containers yearly—suggesting this devalues the dollar.

The ad contrasts this with Bitcoin’s fixed supply, framing it as a superior store of value.

Watch the new 30-second ad here:

CHARTS & DATA

Golden Cross - Bitcoin is close to reaching a golden cross on the daily chart.

Long Term Holder Supply - Bitcoin long term holders have been stacking coins at a rapid pace. They have added 700,000 BTC to their holdings since early March 2025.

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